I refuse

Here it is, the toy the girls are hoping Santa will bring this year. Couple of thoughts I've had about this:

• I overshot the mark. Spent a lot of money to put myself through college, and I'm not complaining, it's paid off nicely. But, while I admitedly have no idea what the margins are on a toy like this, I am fairly certain that whoever came up with this will make more money this year than I will. Here's what get's me bent - if you look closely, the primary features of this doll, as highlighted on the package in large purple letters, are that it takes a piss and also takes a dump - and they've marketed it well enough that my 5 and 4 year old girls want it. Here's what really get's me bent, I have to face the music that the bozo who thought of this is smarter than I am, or at least better at making money. Maybe there's still time to create a toy pony that will be fun because you have to clean it's toy stall, or a fake puppy who warns you to set it on the newspaper? Seriously - people are paying money for a doll that pretends to pinch one off? Kudo's to the brains behind this one.
• On one condition only. Maybe I'd consider buying something like this in a couple of years when the girls are old enough to understand the condition under which I might consider buying this for them. One cool thing I've loved watching with my girls is their innate sense of being motherly, they do it with their dolls and they do it with Brock. It really is amazing. But, were I to cave into this one, it will be under the pretense that they get comfortable with the idea of cleaning up human turd, and that they vow/sign a contract, to clean up mine and Annie's in the event we get dementia some day and can't or choose not to do it ourselves - I don't have much shame, but it might be embarrasing to have a stranger do it...
• I can save you some cash. If anyone else has kids who want this thing, I've got a sweet deal for you. We've talked before about how Brock is growing up. So are his poops. I'll let your kid take a run with the real thing for $5 bucks a shot. Guarantee they'll quit asking for this with no more than $10 bucks out of your pocket. All proceeds will go to figuring out a way to block "Baby Alive" commercials from coming on my tv.